What Can Rob Your Joy If You Let It?
Who are the thieves that try to rob your joy? Or are they within your own mind?
Have you ever spilled oil and tried to pick it up with your hands?
Proverbs 27:15, 16 tells us that a constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike. “He who would restrain her restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand.
I usually hide from the wind as I’ve lived in Rochester, New York, we called it the windy city. I’ve also lived in Florida, where I felt my home shake during a hurricane. I know you can’t restrain the wind. It’s also very difficult in my experience to stop a grumbler from stealing your joy.
You can be all elated about a recent victory or excited about starting a new business and the phone rings. It’s the negative griper and grumbler and you wonder will it really matter if you don’t take the call. It is not a good time is a great truth you could use as an excuse. They’re so needy, maybe you can help them. But your spirits plummet even as you raise the phone to hear that voice. And it starts. Not one pleasant word. Did they even start with a greeting? It’s non-stop squawking and belly-aching about things that happened last week, yesterday, of fifteen years ago. You could possibly help if they’d give you a chance to get a word in edgewise. Don’t let this steal your joy.
What to do instead.
Make it stop?
If yelling “Hey” into the phone doesn’t get their attention and you feel patient, wait ‘til they come up for air. And say: Can I please say something? If you get the floor here’s an idea for a script.
Smile, even if they can’t see you they can tell you’re smiling. Maybe you are speaking to them in person but either way. Beg for a turn to speak”
Hey, I’ve been listening to you for some time now and I’ve heard nothing positive at all. This is bringing my mood down. Dumping all this at once is more than I care to have on my mind. Besides you have told me most of these problems over time. You needn’t repeat the report. You know there’s nothing I can do to change your situation. The past is the past. You must let it go for the sake of your mental health. Since there’s nothing I can do, I don’t think it’s fair for you to grumble to me.
Of course, use words that fit the case but it’s your attitude that matters. Attitude is everything. It’s probably someone you love very much or you wouldn’t even be on the phone with them. So, let the love show, but be firm in that you can’t have your spirit crushed by things that this person is presenting for no reason. No help is wanted. Just an ear to spew out bitterness which is making them sick emotionally and likely physically as well. If you can’t convince them to accept it and move on you may have to cut off your communication with them. Suggest a counselor help them heal.
See my Joy series articles here on Medium for more emotionally healthy tips.
